To my chagrin, I was a lot more malleable and believing 5 years ago. The quality of my waiting was better. I was quick to trust in my God and leave all matters into His hands. Now, I'm more prone to being impatient and looking away to what I want. This is the walk of faith though - sometimes you walk backwards before moving forward again. By God's grace, he gently turns my chin back towards him. And even in my weakness, somehow I am strengthened to have the quality of faith that is pleasing in His eyes.
Even though this season of waiting stinks, I'm discovering golden moments that chip away at my unbelief and expose faulty beliefs about God. It's painful and hurtful to be this exposed, but it's probably the most loving thing my Lord can be doing in my heart.
Although she'd be a bit horrified that I'm still waiting on the same things as a 31 year old, my 26 year old self would still say with confidence:
"More and more, I realize how I NEED to go through these times of processing and waiting. My character needs work, certain things need fine-tuning and etc. There's a reason and timing for everything and it's all out of love. God is good."
Agreed wholeheartedly. Each day of this season of waiting is a new lesson that I wouldn't trade for anything else.
My God is good.
11/5/2007
I remember during freshman year in college my pastor told us there was a reason why certain things weren't revealed and how timing is everything. He made us visualize a roll of toilet paper. In order to get to the core, you first have to pass through all the sheets. There's also an element of adventure and processing as well... for instance, if the core (that one thing) was given to you and revealed to you right now, you might not be ready to receive it.
More and more, I realize how I NEED to go through these times of processing and waiting. My character needs work, certain things need fine-tuning and etc. There's a reason and timing for everything and it's all out of love. God is good.
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