veiled beauty

the veil between us is shattered

you enter in

you paint my cheeks with love,
clothe me with multi-colored garments of grace

you resurrect empty skies with dappled blue,

flood parched land with life-giving waters

hidden spaces, inner parts
respond and cleave to you

my heart gasps in wonder

its capacity widening to new horizons

veiled to the world (known by you alone),
beauty blooms

the veil between us is shattered
and here you dwell

i am known. 

Loyalty

Cleave:  to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly


"It is one thing to love the ways of the Lord when all is fair, and quite another to cleave to them under all discouragements and difficulties. The kiss of outward profession is very cheap and easy, but the practical cleaving to the Lord, which must show itself in holy decision for truth and holiness, is not so small a matter. How stands the case with us, is our heart fixed upon Jesus, is the sacrifice bound with cords to the horns of the altar? Have we counted the cost, and are we solemnly ready to suffer all worldly loss for the Master's sake? The after gain will be an abundant recompense, for Egypt's treasures are not to be compared with the glory to be revealed. Orpah is heard of no more; in glorious ease and idolatrous pleasure her life melts into the gloom of death; but Ruth lives in history and in heaven, for grace has placed her in the noble line whence sprung the King of kings. Blessed among women shall those be who for Christ's sake can renounce all; but forgotten and worse than forgotten shall those be who in the hour of temptation do violence to conscience and turn back unto the world. O that this morning we may not be content with the form of devotion, which may be no better than Orpah's kiss, but may the Holy Spirit work in us a cleaving of our whole heart to our Lord Jesus." (Spurgeon)

44 years

Hudson Taylor received a letter of encouragement from a brother named Mr. Berger while he was in China. An excerpt:

"On Him then reckon, to Him look, on Him depend: and be assured that if you walk with Him, look to Him and expect help from Him, He will never fail you. An older brother, who has known the Lord for 44 years, who writes this, says for your encouragement that He has never failed him. In the greatest difficulties, in the heaviest trials, in the deepest poverty and necessities, He has never failed me; but because I was enabled by His grace to trust in Him, he has always appeared for my help. I delight in speaking well of His name." 

Love, where is your fire?

Imposters have been passing, offering a good-feeling glow
but I'm holding out for what you are about - an inferno that burns to the bone.

Some urge me to be temperate, but lukewarm will never do.

::Brooke Fraser::

let love notes trail on water

i (your little girl), stepped off the shore

into your boat

we set off on a journey

to destinations unknown

quiet anticipation builds

my eyes, fill with gaze and wonder

you surround me with steadfast love

and shouts of deliverance

there is no fear or wandering

for safe and sound I am

in Your presence

the waters are stilled

and all I can hear is the rising

of your love in me.

autumn

"Who could've painted death with such brilliance?" - my pastor's wife on beauty & death displayed in autumn.

my anchor

Yesterday was a difficult day for me.

A friend had a stillborn child and another friend is going through marriage/relationship issues. I found myself asking God a few difficult questions and was left staring into uncertainty, trying to find clarity but finding none.

After a few hours of wrestling, I came to this conclusion: There are things in life that I will never understand. Instead of choosing to "not think about it", I choose to remain close to who and what I'm certain of. The only certainty I have in this life is Jesus Christ and what's in His word. I resolved to find comfort in what I know to be true and certain: my salvation, His promises, God's word. I will remain challenged and continue to search for understanding as Habakkuk did, but as a weaned child (Psalm 131) who finds his ultimate comfort in Christ - not in the attainment of answers.

Later that evening, I realized a different kind of faith is being developed in me. It's a form of submission to God and letting go.

Bet Elliot's words comforted me: "I am afraid we tamper far too much with the mysteries of life and death, instead of leaving them to Him who holds the keys." 

a king's death

“A November afternoon, bare branches, dripping with wet, ground strewn with dead leaves, crush them under foot as you tread; a gloom, a shiver glad to get into the fire”.  -James Street-

The brilliant yellows and burgundy reds of this autumn set me in ongoing meditation of your death. The falling of the leaves, separating from its branches, make me think of your separation from the Father. Dramatic it is, the slow slipping away of the leaves onto the ground.

Autumn is passing and coming to a close. The leaves, reaching its agonizing peak of blood red and marigold yellow, have fallen to the ground – crushed by heavy human feet that tread across the concrete pavement. I have to admit, I’m not as mindful of you when I crush the leaves. It’s in hindsight.

Set my mind on you – that I’d meditate on the suffering and agony – that I’d take part in the sorrow and become more one with you as I share with you in a history gone by, but still a fresh and brilliant aspect of you.

You aren’t the kind of majestic and awesome that my finite mind interprets you to be – I forget that you were once broken, beaten and killed.

Help me to meditate on forgiveness, grace, sanctification, beauty – the cycle of life and death and how it relates to the gospel and what you did for me on the cross.

I don’t mind that we have a few months until Spring – I need a daily and slow reminder. I’m used to thinking of your death in snapshots, perhaps a bit longer during events such as Easter, Good Friday where your death is emphasized and themed for the season.

Bring me there to that place of your death, separation and darkness – I want to know this part of you.

test!

:)

Lineage of grace

Jim Elliot, Charles Spurgeon, Amy Carmichael, Oswald Chambers...

To think and know that the Christ who stirred their hearts is the same Christ in me is amazing - I am a continuing link in a long line of Christ followers.

My heart battles within me, easily amused and entertained by the things of this world. Even so, my humanity and weakness cannot take away my salvation. I imagined myself one day worshipping alongside the apostle Paul, Jim Elliot, Amy Carmichael, Watchman Nee.

I thought to myself, "I am part of this great family of God. These great men and women that I look up to - they are my brothers and sisters".

They too were once here on earth, wrestling with the same earthly battles, pressing into Christ to be their salvation in this temporal and mortal existence. Their human frailties and battles were wrought into the hands of Christ.

Their pursuit of God was really the pursuit of God for them; a lineage of grace continues as I see Christ pursuing my own heart and the people around me. If I am responding to Christ at all with an iota of faith, it's because Christ pursued me first. I cannot take credit for any goodness or fruit in my life. This is becoming ever so clear as I see the depths of my own frailty and sin.

My prayer today: Help me to run this race faithfully 'til I see your face. Burn away the earthly dross.